Stupid Comparison Game
I've caught myself in the last few weeks, probably more like months, comparing myself. It snuck up on my honestly. I try very hard to focus on the good and the beautiful things I have in my life, but oh so subtly comparison seeps in and before I know it I wonder why I'm grumpy and frazzled.
This last weekend I felt so tired and grumpy. I was definitely not in the standing for "mom of the year" award. (Nor will I ever be.) I rarely take times to sit down and be still, but every time that I do, and take a moment to look at what craziness/chaos I have going on inside of me, I come back with a breath of fresh air. So, during the little one's nap time, while the boys were upstairs (I'm sure jumping off furniture), I sat down to just sit. And reflect. I usually use this time to journal or pray or read.
As I started to reflect, I realized how much of my "stress" included me wanting more. More money, more clothes, more stuff for my house, more traveling, more things... Don't get me wrong, I am not ungrateful for the many many (probably too many) things I have. I guess I just got swept up in the shiny new objects or Pinterest dreams I had. It's embarrassing to admit, but I have a feeling we all have been there chasing the ideal. If I'm not careful to remember to focus on working hard, being grateful (truly grateful) and being content no matter what I have or don't have, then I find myself energy-zapped, grumpy and sidetracked from the important things that are right in front of me.
"I've learned now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with as little as with much, with much as with little." Phil. 4:13 I have a feeling that money and things are not the issue. I can have tons or none, it is more about my resolution and resolve to be content on a deep level.
If you're anything like me, here is my own personal reminder I want share with you: you're fine. chase after success, but not at the expense of your heart. Take time to be: by yourself, be with others. Pay attention to the priceless things.
P.S. Be creative with what you do have. I'm married to a youth pastor but love fancy things. I've made it my life's work to scour thrift stores. Kidding, not kidding. --Everything in this room was thrifted, discounted or a back alley craiglist meet-up. And it's my favorite room in our home ;)